I’m broken.

Saying that I am broken is not something that I am fond of at all. But, in all reality, I am just a piece of shattered glass.

I have been through pain and situations that I never thought possible. I never saw them coming. I can’t describe to you how events in my life this past year have completely torn me apart and how I have just wanted to give up on everything. I struggled to find meaning in anything and sometimes still do. I hurt continuously and long for answers to questions I don’t even know how to ask. It was unthinkable to lose both of my grandpas in less than six months.

With the help of a devotional and a song from one of our artists, I am starting to salvage what’s left of me and start to build anew. I have always been the kind of person that has to be perfect in every aspect of life. I hate sharing feelings and being vulnerable; showing weakness is unacceptable for me. But in reality, I am so weak I can’t do anything on my own. In the midst of all the trials and pain, I lost hope and didn’t look to God like I should have.

I am gradually finding hope again. One song in particular helped me realize that there is always hope and healing in God. Danny Gokey’s “Hope in Front of Me” has helped me tremendously. Sometimes healing doesn’t always mean a cure to a sickness, but it also means “to be repaired” or “to be set right.” This has been a marvelous revelation for me…and has started getting me back on the right track in my spiritual journey.

I encourage you to listen to this song. Really listen to the words and becoming familiar with Danny Gokey’s story. He has had incredible loss, and his entire album has been written out of that painful journey. Through his story and music, God has been making me new, giving me hope and fixing the cracks.

It doesn’t matter what kind of leadership position you are in or if you’re in one at all. Admitting you are broken to the people around you is something I admire, but don’t see very often. When you do, people will judge, but let them. It doesn’t matter in the long run. I’ve heard it put in a profound way, “Who would you rather please, people who are here one day and gone the next or God who is here for eternity?”

I encourage you to let people know you are broken and struggling; it will help you heal so much faster. I know it’s hard, trust me, I am struggling to write this, but I know it is what God wants from me.

Being broken isn’t something of which to be ashamed.

I hope you read his story, listen to the lyrics, and start to find the healing you need.

Here is a link to Danny Gokey’s song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5GFiDdGGGM

Here is a link to his story: http://www.dannygokey.com/about.html

Emily Porter

Afternoon Drive Co-host